Sunday, 21 October 2007

Fling with a Republic and the Discomfort of Travel


The pending chance of sponsorship for the documentary project on TEFL teaching has got me all flummoxed and curious. Since leaving Future Planet I have not had to deal with the tribulations of film sponsorship without the backing and support of my experienced colleagues. The drafting of contracts, the intricate detail and the eagerness to get started are driving me to work and spend hard on my new project, so much so that for the past fortnight, I have been unable to spend much time away from my video camera and edit studio.

It is not very often that friends and relatives are able to take the time from work and come and visit the salty baron lands of Bochnia, the bustling jerk of Krakow seems to have much greater appeal, and so when three old chums from Southend came to visit this week, I was more than disappointed to only be able to spend one evening with them in the twilight of the city. So fractured was I from a week of darting back and forth from place to place, shooting interviews, gallivanting around classrooms and pursuing new subject matter that I decided the weekend should serve only as an adventure and I should free myself from the clutches of the film project and the now monotonous traits of Bochnia.

I awoke on Saturday morning at six a.m. with a slight hangover and a bad idea. Without paying much attention to the temperature or my agenda, I packed a bag and threw some water on my face while ranting about my desperation to cross the Polish border for the weekend. My weary companion, still awash in the bliss of sleep, followed me graciously to the kitchen and joined me for a cup of tea. To say that I had thought my plans through logically would be a down right lie, but Joanna seemed to see some logic behind my rambling and agreed to join me on an escapade to Krakow in an attempt to find a bus that may take us to a foreign destination. It wasn’t until we opened the door that we realised Jack Frost had been in the night and had left more than his standard October snail trial. The ground was covered in glistening white mounds of snow, diaphanous and smooth like large piles of cotton wool. We walked down to the city centre and jumped on a minibus to Krakow, as usual our transport was rammed with people and we were forced to stand in our winter clothes and with our pack backs stapled to our torsos, this made it almost impossible to eat the two drozdzowkas we had bought for breakfast and so the one hour journey proved an immediate challenge to our agenda. I was however able to manoeuvre my body in such a way that I could squirm round and plug myself into my iPod as to not have to listen to the tired and bloated sounds of RMF FM which boomed at full volume around the minibus. I drowned the sounds of Polish election campaigning and sloppy remixes of solo Freddy Mercury songs with the latest ‘65DaysOfStatic’ album, which proved a dazzling platform to my inner monologue of complaint regarding just how troublesome it is to travel from this supposed commuter town to the nearest city.

We arrived in Krakow dishevelled and hungry, we munched on our breakfast and grabbed take away lattes from the Dworzec PKS café. Joanna spotted a bus leaving from Krakow in twenty minutes, which was bound for a small town on the south central Polish border. I have been to Cieszyn before and have revelled at the ease of crossing the border with no queuing or stupid questions, the transformation of Polish Cieszyn to Czech Cieszyn is an amazing thing to experience and worth the journey alone, and so with a little persuasion on my part, we decided to board the bus and take the three hour trek to the border.

The road works outside of Krakow are indeed dire at the present moment, and crossing the bridge to get over the Wisła is a gruelling task. The bus jerked and pulled back and forth for thirty minutes before we even left the city boundary, and once again I must confess that if it were not for the frivolous audio pleasure of my iPod, I would have become increasingly bitter with frustration. This time however, we were able to sit for the duration of our journey, taking pity on those that had to stand, but appreciating their patience. The sporadic and spicy sounds of ‘Love is Simple’, the new album by Akron/Family made the journey glide by peacefully, the gorgeous and confused genre bending of their music combined with the scenic snow covered views of the passing mountains, reminded the twisted cynic in me that not every journey comprises of sweating, heavy, air tight vertical abstractions through grazing traffic.








We arrived in Cieszyn exactly four and a half hours after departing the house in Bochnia. Although we had been sitting down for the last three hours, we both felt extremely tired and ready to find a warm place to sit and drink more coffee. The typical picturesque Rynek on the Polish side of the border was almost empty, which made for a nice photo opportunity and a banana break. We circled the market square hand in hand, marvelling at the brave gent sitting lonesome on a bench in the corner with a fistful of crumbs and a map full of hungry pigeons. The city was indeed so quiet that it came as a surprise to find that the Tourist Information booth was still, a nimble little Polish lady handed us a free map of the area and gave us directions to the train station on the Czech side of the border. She told us that Prague is beautiful by night and if we want to make the most of our journey into the country we should make our way to the capital.

I am an awkward man. For some reason I find it difficult to accept that the capital of a country is the most worth while place to be, this may be due to my jilted attitude towards London, it may be due to my several experiences abroad, or it may be due to the pretentious artist in me that just wants to do everything differently from everybody else. Nevertheless, baring the old ladies advice in mind we took to a small café on the road to the border, the eerie rhythmic keyboard noises gracefully protruding from the stereo had an immediate impact on us both and we agreed that we should proceed to grab a table. We found ourselves sitting on a pair of exceedingly comfortable armchairs at a mahogany table with the sun pouring through the large windows at the front, the coffee tasted good and the slender slim cigarettes we smoked made us feel like we were trapped in a Leonard Cohen song. We discussed our options, either way we were going to Czech but whether we should hit the capital or try something different was still a decision to be made. Upon leaving the café, we walked straight to the border, which is located on a bridge just off of the central avenue of the small city. We crossed with no problems and in a matter of seconds we noticed the dramatic change in scenery, the shops were more rustic and slight, the people were speaking a new foreign tongue and the streets even smelled different. This was mostly due to the sudden increase in Vietnamese restaurants about the place, filling the air with the juicy smell of fried vegetables and noodle dishes.

We walked the streets and located the Rynek, if anything the Czech side of the border was quieter than the Polish side, the cobbled streets and colourful residential buildings and clothes shops gave off an appealing and almost clay like feel, as if they had been built simply for the purpose of being. All the shops and market stalls were closed and so we decided that although we had completed our mission and crossed the border, we were not far enough into the country. We traced the rough guide we received from the small Polish lady at the TI and found ourselves at a rather sober looking Dworzec. The ladies at the ticket office were remarkably helpful and for some reason I was able to understand more of their language than Joanna. They informed me of a city about fifty kilometres from here that was well worth seeing. We got ourselves a pair of tickets and danced around the one swaying drunkard, spinning on the floor in a purple anorak. The train arrived soon afterwards and we were able to clamber aboard out of the bitter cold and take refuge next to an elderly Czech couple who looked on in curiosity as I pulled the Jon Snow biography ‘Shooting History’ out of my bag. Joanna plugged herself into the iPod and the train took us part of the way on our journey to Ostrawa, the third largest city in the country.

To get there we would have to change trains again at Ostrava-Kuncice and board the waiting train straight to the city. The lady checking the tickets, like all of the Czech people we had met so far, told us that she spoke Polish and then proceeded to speak to us in her native tongue, the languages are indeed similar but without a little preparation and advanced warning, it can be awkward. We managed to gather from the inspector that our train would be waiting on the platform as soon as we arrived at the next station and we would have to jump on it as fast as possible! This was made easier by her opening the door and almost shoving us out onto the platform at the appropriate time and the second train carried us the additional two stations to Ostrava hl.n. Upon arrival we journeyed straight to the city centre, passing through the airport-like train station and travelling the two-kilometre stretch to the Rynek. When we finally got there, I found myself to be too hungry to be taken back by the abundance of modern buildings splintered around the fabulous surrounding Czech architecture. Instead we headed to a large ‘nighthawk’ style restaurant tucked away in the corner of the Rynek. We were greeted by a bubbly bouncing Czech lady in a red, white and black frock, she spoke little Polish or English but made us feel extremely welcome, granting us a free pint each with our supremely crafted pizza. After wolfing down forty inches of stuffed crust delight, we asked the waitress if she could point us in the direction of the nearest hotel or hostel. She told us, or at least I think she told us, it would be tricky to find somewhere and we would have to take a tram to get anywhere suitable. We then proceeded to pay our bill and walk another two kilometres in the wrong direction after getting some dodgy instructions from a receptionist at the Imperial Hotel who tried to charge us one hundred and seventy Euros for a night. Our stroll through the city's industrial estate proved uneventful and frightening, when we finally came across a struck old gent who could point us in the right direction, it was gone eight o’clock and I was ready for bed. Upon finding a suitable hotel however, my mood did so rapidly change from bloated and pragmatic sleep face to primitive prancing party gazelle.

We found the Trio Hotel situated in the middle of a self proclaimed ‘party district’, smitten in every direction with over sixty pubs and nightclubs. We checked into our hotel and took a disco nap before chatting to the reception staff about the city. A gent in his early twenties with a tribal tattoo all up his forearm and a head full of spiked black hair, told us that this was the city all the Czech people from Prague come to to get away from the tourists and the staggering inflation of alcohol. He said that it was rare to find a Brit in these waters and that I should be pleased to be here, for this is one of the few untapped party resources of the Czech Republic. I paid the hotel bill of thirty seven pounds and went back to our giant apartment suite to locate Joanna. She was watching Czech TV on the couch and ready to hit the town.







We visited several bars up and down the strip, we danced to Flogging Molly in an Irish bar, unwound to smooth jazz at the Acid Club and jumped about like infants to Drum N Bass at The Sherlock Holmes Pub. The drink correlated with the modest price of our hotel room, the maximum we paid for a gin and tonic was one pound ten pence, while the Staropramen and Radagast flowed at way under a pound a pint. The most shocking factor of our radiant and financially comforting spree was that we heard no English or Polish outside of our own conversations. This seemed to be utterly bizarre when reflecting on the hordes of English that swarm to Krakow for cheap stag weekends and the like. How long will it be before Ostrava also becomes a playground hotspot for drunken revelry at the hands of the Brits and the Poles alike? Only time will tell.

In the mean time we managed to do the party district justice, we hit several bars and clubs and we managed a little dancy dancy to top it all off. Although our hotel was cheap, it was in the centre of the action and we were unfortunately reminded of our location throughout the duration of the night. We managed to get our heads down at some point in the small hours, and our slumber was only disturbed at around eight o’clock by my mobile alarm after we agreed to get up early and take some photos of the city as evidence before leaving for Poland by train. We checked out and circled the city once again armed only with a digital camera, the walk back to the train station proved a pleasure and the eleven pound Euro City ticket back to Poland proved a sexy reminder as to just how little money our random excavation had cost us. The train took us straight to Katowice where we changed for Krakow and found ourselves back on the Bochnia bus in no time. With buckets of minutes to spare, Joanna placed her vote in the town centre before we headed back home for some cous cous and onions.

By the time we got back it was around half past seven and we were both a little on the tired side. The journey was a beautiful statement as to just how easy it is to travel around Europe and the incredible adventures that the Central Eastern faction has to offer. As I write this, the ballots are being counted for the Polish election and I can’t help but wonder what kind of a difference the (new) government will bring to this fascinating continent…

Sunday, 14 October 2007

Fear The Subject

The meeting was set and ready to take place, all that I needed to do was observe the events, follow them and film them. There were to be no mistakes this time round, the plan was set in stone, all I needed to do was follow the rules and make sure that nobody subjected me to any intense questioning. I had been told that these people were not easy to get along with and I may even suffer at the face of my work, but having found myself in all too many awkward predicaments in the past, I was sure that nothing could be too intense. I was wrong, dead wrong.

It was one week ago that I met with the RM Bochnia group in a strange building near the centre of town; it was one week ago that I endured several sessions of prayer and it was one week ago I witnessed an intense lecture on the negative aspects of Liberalism. I turned up to the meeting place a few minutes early in an attempt to compose myself and have a smoke before the transport arrived. I stood under the abandoned Hotel Florian just outside Bochnia town centre and waited for a signal from Big Ron as to where we were going to board the bus to Krakow. I got no call but I caught sight of a group of old ladies with brollies boarding a blue bus across the street, the bus was about the size of a builders van, with enough space in the back to illegally seat around ten people. I curiously lurked around one of the cracked exterior pillars outside the hotel before spotting the John Goodman character helping the women inside. I stubbed my fag out on the floor and warily walked over to the bus, JG saw me and extended his hand. I had previously stabbed my right palm earlier while washing a knife and the cut felt like it was gushing under the ruined soggy plaster. I offered JG my left hand to shake and he gripped my forearm warmly, nodding and smiling as he did so. He helped me on board as if I were one of the elderly ladies, the back end was already cramped full of festively plump women who looked up at me harmlessly as I intruded their social space. I was asked to sit between the two podgiest members of the group so that everybody could squeeze in, it did not feel good.

Within moments the bus was full of old women, and when I say full I mean that there would not have even been enough room for one of Santa’s little helpers to jam themselves into any corner should they have wanted to do so. There were four rows of people in the back end of the bus, one of which consisted of a sodden wood bench that was placed in the middle to aid the unfortunate soles who had to sit on the laps of frightened looking old ladies. As soon as the doors closed, the lights were turned off as not to attract the police, the windows on the inside filled with condensation and we began our journey to a large church in Krakow to take part in an all night prayer session.

Almost every eye in the back of that buss was focussed on me, I could not so much as move my arm from my knee without somebody either twitching violently or having a tutting fit. I considered my options, pondering as to whether or not I should remove the video camera from my bag, it would make for an excellent piece of footage. Just as I reached into my shoulder satchel just as it started, one of the bulky women in the next row along started chanting, at first it was difficult to make out what was going on, it sounded like a mating call to God. When the rest of the busload began joining her in synchronism I realised what was happening, the full recitation of the Rosary was about to commence. I was able to pick out a few words I understood while watching the hot air streaming down the windows. My heart deflated as the chanting proceeded to drown my every inner thought and suck every breath from my lungs like a sinister sagging squadron of succubae. After ten minutes the initiator lady stopped for air, she passed her thick wooden rosary to the next lady in line who began reciting solo, her prayers where then joined in chorus by the rest of the folk inside the bus. With sweat dripping from my brow and blood curdling in my veins, I new that the Rosary was heading my way, the only way I would be excepted into the clan and be able to film was if I recited something Holy, but by doing so I would be interfering in a clearly passionate ritual of the Catholic faith. The air was tight and I had to pinch myself as a reminder to try and draw breath from the clouded air, just before inhaling I was handed the thick wooden necklace of Christ. I took hold of it sincerely and prayed out loud to be set free from this bus, without thinking I subjected my conservative audience to a reel of blasphemous gibberish at a feeble attempt to win the right to film.

I stopped half way through my truly genuine attempt to connect with the mercy of the Heavens and realised that once again, every pair of eyes in the bus was fixated on me, even the eyes of the bus driver. The bus slowly pulled over to the side of the motorway and my entire body felt slippery, slippery like a slug. One of the ladies opposite me turned her head and recited a verse of the Rosary fluently in Spanish, Polish and then again in English, I looked at her blankly, utterly gobsmacked. I deserved it and everyone in the van knew it. The lady that initiated the praying then snatched the rosary from my grasp and instructed the driver to proceed, Big Ron looked at me in utter disgust, we still had another forty minutes to go to get to Krakow.

The rest of the journey proved to be of little ease, during the remaining three quarters of an hour I was forced to learn three verses of the rosary in Polish, from start to finish and then recite them to the rest of the group, the fact that I was involved in the journey meant that it was one hundred percent necessary for me to take part in prayer as to not curse the processions due to follow.

Although my situation may sound a placid and self-righteous reflection, I have never felt so condemned or outcast as I did on that journey. The situation I placed myself in was way out of my depth and although I am continuing with the documentary project, the decision has been made to eliminate all Catholic practice and worship from the filming stages. A definite separation needs to be made between the Religion that the Radio Maryja Family practice and the sweeping web of rumours, stories and charges that the seemingly majority of Polish people circulate. However, I plan to learn from my mistakes regarding the project so far and continue down a different path of documentation. The Radio Maryja Family are indeed a worldwide organisation and they are dedicated to following their faith as a Catholic organisation. So why is it then that the Polish section have such a fierce reputation?

Sunday, 7 October 2007

Meet The Subject

The Film Project

The idea behind the Radio Maryja project began after I heard several conflicting arguments regarding the organisation while in a local pub, on the one hand it was claimed that the Radio Maryja Family brainwash their listeners and viewers, of sister television station TV Trwam, using political propaganda and fraudulent tactics, the second point of view was that the organisation only pray on their own and anyone stupid enough to fall into the trap is asking to be conned. Both sides of the dispute reflected on negative aspects of RM and its founder Tadeusz Rydzyk. Both of these arguments were unfounded opinions, which could not be backed with specific evidence. Since listening to this debate and various others along the same lines, I have been on an pilgrimage with the ‘Family’ and have seen first hand what they represent and the incredible age range in their followers. On Sunday the 30th of September 2007 I was welcomed into the family fold by a representative and a small group of followers in Bochnia.

The Head Quarters

I had arranged to meet the organiser of the Bochnia group in the evening in order to gain permission to film and interview RM supporters. I was instructed to go to a building in the centre of Bochnia and await further information. I must admit that even though it was still daylight when I reached the building, I was feeling extremely vulnerable as the RMF have a history of being ‘anti-media’ and have often sued film makers and even television channels that have tried to record their activities in the past. Upon arrival I received a text message informing me of the whereabouts of the head quarters. I found myself walking up several flights of stairs and standing outside a Sajm government office, the door was open wide and a poster for the Radio Maryja Family was stuck firmly to the interior door.

The Meeting

I could hear several voices coming from a room next door to the office, it sounded like the room was full of people and they were discussing several private issues. One of which I am about to make public as I was afraid to disturb the meeting and hung around the office doorway. It seemed that one of the people speaking was telling the rest of the group about her husband who has recently gone deaf and is unable to listen to Radio Maryja, she said that her husband was afraid of going to Hell as he couldn’t listen anymore. The group’s combined advice was that he should try turning up the radio as loud as possible (!) and that he should also watch TV Trwam with the subtitles on. There was no real confirmation that he would not go to Hell. After about twenty minutes of listening to the most random of conversations and proposals I decided to pop my head around the corner of the door. I was surprised to find only five people in the room. The man I planned to meet (lets call him Big Ron) was sat on the right hand side of the table, he immediately stood and approached me, asking me why I am late. When I explained my reasons for not wanting to disturb the proceedings he grunted and requested to speak to me in private.

Big Ron

We took a pew in the ‘government’ office adjacent to the meeting room and Big Ron asked what I wanted. I have no intention of lying to these people as it would ruin the entire aspect of my project, and so I said to him that I was impressed with the Pilgrimage two weeks ago, however I was concerned with what Tadeusz Rydzyk said about the media being the devil. I followed this by informing Big Ron about my film history and the asked him as to why Father Rydzyk made this bold remark. My Polish has come along quite nicely since living in Poland, my interpretation of Polish analogies on the other hand is not quite up to scratch and so I was rather taken back by Big Ron’s response. He told me that the media is evil as it is tide with communism, he also mentioned several newspapers and television programmes that have given RM negative coverage. When I questioned this he gave me the following comparison: Imagine that you have two bad teeth that need to be removed, one of which represents communism, this tooth is removed without any anaesthetic and it hurts terribly. The second tooth represents something much worse than communism, something so disgusting that it has rotted the tooth away to the root. This tooth represents Liberalism. This tooth is removed with an anaesthetic and it most damaging because you can’t feel it happening. (Please write to me and give me your interpretation of this as it may shed some light!) It was at this point that I informed Big Ron as to my film plans, I told him I was very keen to capture events, marches and interviews of people in the Radio Maryja Family and piece together my findings in a documentary. To my surprise Big Ron clapped his hands and seemed very enthusiastic about my idea. He instantly asked me about my views on religion and I told him my Polish was not good enough to articulate my true beliefs.

The Fold

Big Ron then welcomed me into the meeting room where I was introduced to the four other attendees, each one a new face. I sat on the left hand side of the table, opposite Big Ron, this placed me next to a dishevelled fellow in his mid forties with horrific body odour and a lady I would guess is in her early sixties, kept on touching my arms and asking if I was cold. To my right sat a rather stout chap who struck me as being a cross between Ronnie Barker, Lenny from ‘Of Mice and Men’ and John Goodman’s ‘Big Dan’ character in ‘O Brother Where Art Thou’. At the bottom end of the table there sat a stara babka, the same lady I imagine was talking about her deaf husband going to Hell. And there I sat, amongst this group of social misfits in a room covered in RM and Trwam paraphernalia. I am by no standard criticising their beliefs or there ways of living (yet) as it was indeed I that made the choice to invade their territory.

After being grilled by a series of questions about England and my life history, the group began confessing their sins, which seemed very similar to a stereotypical AA meeting. I kept quiet and listened to their confessions before everybody stood and began to pray and chant, before I knew what was happening I found myself in a full recital of the Rosary. This scared me somewhat in that I was unprepared for such an act, it seemed far to close to a Catholic service and this is something I have respect for. Even though I was welcomed into the fold I was intruding on something I knew I should never take lightly. It wasn’t until we sat down and Big Ron started reading from the RM newspaper that I started to feel my presence was justified again. He read a column focussing on Liberalism and how the eruption of gay rights and immigration (!!) in Europe are works of evil and should be addressed immediately.

The Departure

After an hour and ten minutes of praying, singing and discourse the group started to depart, each member leaving one by one until it was just Big Ron and I discussing plans for the film project. He invited me to an all night prayer procession in Krakow next Saturday, with hope that I will be able to film the RM troop in action. Although I accepted Big Ron’s offer I am still unsure as to where the cross over is from traditional Catholicism and The Radio Maryja Family. People have told me in the past that the RM private meetings are often the most aggressive and hate fuelled but once again, I found nothing to be out of the ordinary at all, as far as religion permits, bar of course the remarks regarding Liberalism. The more I am finding out about these people, the less I am beginning to question their ulterior motives, it seems that the rumours circulated by the younger generation are desperately unfounded and only made to arouse public interest in controversy in Poland.

The Plan

I have decided to accept Big Ron’s invitation next weekend. Although I am far much more interested in filming the bus journey down to Krakow and the reactions that the RM Bochnia group may have to the tolerance of Liberalism in one of Poland’s biggest cities. I have no intention of staying for the full prayer session and sincerely doubt I will film inside the Catholic church, my plans are to spend as much time with the group as possible, steering away from their connections with the Catholic church and hoping to detail these connections through personal interviews only. In two months time I will be embarking on a twelve-day mission around Poland with two interested parties that will aid me in circulating some of the supporters and critics of the Radio Maryja family, who knows what our collective journey may reveal about this still ‘seemingly’ controversial religious group?

Monday, 1 October 2007

Language Films, Gay Bars and the Man on the Farm



The four-week Cambridge University fronted language course I took in Krakow last year was one of the most intensive and strenuous learning curves I have ever taken. I have never been big on talking to large groups of people as the thought of which used to always seem terrifying. I grew out of this dehabilitating trait once I became used to standing in the centre of a classroom and teaching groups of students about key English grammar while being observed by peer teachers and marked by the director of studies on my performance. This was my initiation into Teaching English as a Foreign Language (TEFL), and taking CELTA turned out to be one of the best decisions I have ever made. The course had such a huge impact on the adaptation to life on the continent that I decided to make a documentary film about the integration process of TEFL teachers and the effects they are having on their students and their new environment. I started filming for the project this week and the people I have interviewed and observed in action so far have been splendid subjects for this exciting new documentary project.

I am mostly interested in the impact that the TEFL industry is having on Europe, particularly with regards to the immigration, assimilation and the impact that native speakers of English are having on the countries they are moving to, as well as the effects that the students of English are having on the United Kingdom and Ireland. Over the past year I have been able to observe some of the effects TEFL teachers have made on Poland and how the Polish have reacted, this weekend was no exception, hopping from one extreme to the other I was able to observe just how a handful of teachers living in Krakow are able to make an impact.

After filming for the documentary I made my way to the centre of Krakow to meet with a group of friends who are working as TEFL teachers in the city. The plan was to initiate some new teachers into the frivolous drinking habits and irresponsible nightlife rituals that frequently take place among my close friends and former colleagues over the weekend. We met in the centre of town outside one of the large chain stores in the market square; it had been a while since we last met as it is tendency for teachers to work for summer schools outside Poland during the months of June, July and August. We walked down one of the various avenues off the Rynek and found ourselves in a regular haunt, a pub located in a dark alley and up a long flight of wooden stairs, hidden from the boisterous clans of stag party fanatics, boozing in the town centre. We each sank a series of beers and vodka shots while catching up with each other and generally causing annoyance to the Polish regulars. The new group of teachers we accumulated seemed to be into the festivities and celebrated their newfound love for the price of alcohol in Poland. After three or four drinks we decided to trek into the Jewish district of Kazimierz where several bars and clubs can be found on the popular ‘old square’. The drinking continued heavily into the night, and as our selected group of TEFL teachers started to disband into the murky streets of the Yiddish Quarter, the remaining few occupied one of the bright, stylish and flamboyant gay clubs in the area. Upon arrival however, we discovered that the dance floor was practically empty, which meant the watchful barman and his team of security guards observed the drunken antics of our TEFL squadron closely.

Poland is a rather intolerant country when it comes to race, religion and sexual orientation, which is somewhat disappointing. There are often online news stories written about anti-tolerance marches and aggressive right wing ‘Catholic’ gangs that preach their hatred and loathing for specified minorities. I am trying to explore the roots of this unchecked aggression in one of my documentary projects, but it seems that unless these thugs are in a march, group or gang they are determined to remain anonymous and difficult to locate.

The empty bar suddenly filled with a group of about ten girls, who joined the TEFL clan in dancing to cheesy pop songs of the early eighties and shaking their skinny hips to the likes of Nelly Furtado, Justin Timberlake and Vanilla Ice. It wasn’t until this point that the bar staff began to relax and soon started clambering onto the bar and bopping along to the beat of the drum, smashing glasses on the floor and causing a general ruckus. The girls then invited us to the biggest and most popular gay club in Krakow for more shambles. Only several of the TEFL team were sober enough to make it to the party, it was then we were to discover the girls plan to lure several of my TEFL troop into their lesbian lair of rude dancing and lust for laughs.

The gay club is located on the top floor of a party multiplex just outside the centre of town, we found the place to be busier than ever and it was here that I felt the most comfortable and united with the Polish people who speedily swarmed me. It was in a mass of sweaty bodies on the dance floor I was able to confirm that although TEFL teachers in Poland have a reputation for drinking and partying in the local pubs and clubs, the influence they have on the Polish people of the same generation is in fact rather small. The majority of clients in the club were thoroughly piefaced on super strong slammers, foolishly cheap lager and mysterious multi-coloured cocktails, unsurprisingly without the aid of a small group of teachers. After a nuance of boogie and a catalogue of vodka mixers it was time to leave. Living in Bochnia and having to wait another four hours for a train led me to stay in the city with a friend I met during my CELTA training course this very time last year.

After very little sleep, a breakfast of granary bread, cereal and coffee and a hot shower I spoke with my TEFL accomplice about his experiences in the industry since we took the intensive teaching course. Due to my friend being Australian, he told me that there were several employers that had problems with him not being an EU citizen and so he had to work several jobs cash in hand. Private language tuition also seemed play a large roll in his work, but the irregularity and cancellations of private one-to-one students make this line of work a real challenge. He told me of his love for Krakow and his reasons for staying in this fascinating city, it is not difficult to see why TEFL teachers choose to come back after the summer months to continue teaching here, it is a city that can provide all the privacy, social shenanigans and spontaneous day trips one could ever wish for. Baring this in mind it came increasingly difficult to understand as to why one of our fellow CELTA crew had decided to move way out of the city and buy himself a small farm on the outskirts of the region. I soon made contact with the man in question and jumped on a bus to the nearest town he would be able to pick me up from. Although the ‘tolerance’ level of the drunken youth of Krakow seemed to be extremely high, the forbearance that Polish villagers may have to a man of Pakistani origin living in their segregated community may be a little different.

The bus journey took me sixty kilometres north east of Krakow to a tiny town, it was there my chum greeted me and we made our way to his rundown farmhouse, which is an additional fifteen kilometres from the small town. I asked him about his experience in the area so far and I explained that I had even experienced problems in Bochnia as foreigner so I was prepared for a negative response. On the contrary I was informed of my friends account of his stay so far, it seemed he too was worried about the reaction to his arrival as it is clear he is foreign from the colour of his skin alone, but he proceeded to tell me he had never felt more welcome in a closed community before this. He told me that his new neighbours frequently cook for him and they are even helping him build his house! A little astonished I listened to my friend’s anecdotes about his quirky new buddies and how they all help him out. It wasn’t until we arrived at his farm that I realised just how sincere he was being, upon arrival I was introduced to an elderly couple who were working on building a new wooden garage, they were very pleasant and sung the praise of my friend as a neighbour. I was then introduced to an English speaking local journalist who lives close by and visits my pal frequently. My friend and I reminisce of our time studying for CELTA and he tells me how, although he is happy he did the course, he is pleased as hell to get out of the city of Krakow and to have found a new life and a new project. He told me he currently works as a science teacher in Wroclaw as his central occupation but that he spends every weekend at his farmhouse, his kingdom. The property is a wreck, the main house is falling down, the two large barns to the right are dilapidated and the wooden construction his friends are building is far from completion. Nevertheless he sleeps in his settlement and uses his neighbour facilities when he gets desperate for a shower or a good meal. Of course this is only a temporary arrangement he tells me, once the property is in full working order he will live here and make a living from growing crops and vegetables on the swathes of vacant land he has behind his assortment of buildings. The English-speaking journalist invites us for dinner at his home, where I am introduced to his wife and fed platefuls of fresh eggs, tomatoes, bread and cheese while we drink red wine and sip coffee. Not particularly fancying the idea of sleeping in my friends crumbling house, I stayed with the journalist and his wife, who treated me as one of their own and invited me to join them for breakfast in the morning. I hit the hay feeling almost a little jealous of my friend’s new lifestyle with some of the most tolerant and hospitable Poles in perhaps the most unlikely place.

I was woken to the sound of a pig being executed in a barn a few doors down, the sound was worse than a child screaming which enabled me to easily reinforce my reasoning behind deciding never to eat meat again. I then joined my hosts for breakfast, a feast of fresh produce collected from the surrounding neighbours, and we discussed Polish art and its ties with modern day politics over several rounds of toast and piping hot coffee. My hosts invited me back to visit whenever I like and drove me to the tiny town I got the bus to from Krakow. Although a little thrown back and fascinated by the unanticipated scenario my friend on the farm is now in, the journey back to Bochnia was a reminder as to why I could never live in a place of this nature; although the community may have seemed idyllic and almost utopian, it is so far away from anything, the possibility of a social life outside the area would be almost impossible. By the time I got back to Bochnia I was damned tired and ready for a good nights sleep.
The continuation of the TEFL documentary film continues next week at International House as a new group of hopefuls prepare to plunge into their first week of CELTA; for sure they will be nervous and perhaps even undecided as to where their TEFL journey will take them. However, it is clear to see from my experiences over the last couple of days that whether it be frequently exposing naked flesh on the dance floor of a gay bar, buying a farm in the middle of nowhere or just making a film about the whole thing, the life of a TEFL teacher is paved with scandal, opportunity and choice, it is down to the boldness and willing of the individual as to where their adventures may take them.